Jobs Simply

Do I stay or do I go?

I have been dating my current boyfriend for the last 5 1/2 years. We started dating in college and had a very tumultuous relationship (he cheated on me at least 3 times and lied about a lot). We ended up making it through but it was really hard for me to forgive him because he said it wasn't cheating (in fact it was. We were apart for the summer months and he would go on a date with a girl and then call me and say he loved me and his family had thought we were not together because he referred to this girl as his girlfriend but we never broke up). I found out he cheated on me from his friends and then his family backed it up. Anyway our senior year in college I asked him many times what he wanted to do (break up or stay together) and he never gave me an answer so I decided to leave him and move in with my family. He was not sad the day I left and ran off with his friends. During the summer months he would call me and was really mean and for whatever reason I took this as he cared so I moved to the state he resided in. I got a job and an apartment on my own while he lived at home because he didn't want to pay rent and got everything at home for free. Now his parent have bought him a house and I have moved in with him, his brother, his brothers girlfriend and his high school friend. The atmosphere is very college frat house and I believe by now we should be in a different place...friends of his are always over and we spend little to no time together but it seems he is OK with this because we live together and that is good enough. My boyfriend works for his father and is not pursuing a job in his field but will not get engaged until he is financially set (I have went out of my way to make his resume, apply for jobs, print listings of open jobs in his field all to no use, he just put it all in a drawer and followed up on nothing). I ask him what he sees in his future and he says a job in his field (never mention of being with me unless pressed) but he does nothing to work towards that. I have given up a lot for him. I moved to a state where I have little contact or ability to see my family, I have lost 2 of my college friends because they didn't like hanging out with me because of him, and I am in financial trouble due to having to pay rent and loan bills while living off a job that pays 7.50 a hr. He has lost nothing. Still lives off his family and has them right down the street, has his childhood friends, and is very comfortable with things. I feel like we should be moving onto the next level (engagement) but he is no where near close. I have given this kid almost 6 years to get his shit together and he has not. I was a very ambitious girl and have sense lost this, I feel like I am settling and for a loser none the less. His idea of a good time is going to the bar and smoking pot (I hate drinking!) which I do not enjoy. I am scared to leave but scared to risk my future for someone who has failed to measure up since day one. What should I do?

Public Comments

1. Darling you got to let me know Should I stay or should I go? If you say that you are mine I’ll be here ’til the end of time So you got to let me know Should I stay or should I go? Always tease tease tease You’re happy when I’m on my knees One day is fine, next day is black So if you want me off your back Well come on and let me know Should I stay or should I go? Should I stay or should I go now? Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble An’ if I stay it will be double So come on and let me know!