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Spouse laid off, discouraged in job hunt?

My spouse was laid off mid March of this year and he is begining to get very discouraged in his efforts to look for a job. He tried to go through the steps to become a cop and after his interview they said they couldn't see a reason he wouldn't go on to the next step and then he got a rejection letter with no explanation. He doesn't know if he can try again or if they are totally not interested or whether other agencies etc would not be interested either. We bought a suit for his interviews and he says that it was a total waste of money. Now I've been encouraging him to try for CNC machinist job (the job he was doing before he was laid off) but he looked at a few places and they aren't hiring. Then I found two listings where they are hiring and now he is saying that he'll have to buy his own tools (I didn't know he was borrowing tools at his old job) and what if it doesn't work out. He is totally in the dumps and says he can't get excited about anything. I am not sure what to do. I tried to cheer him up and told him we'd figure it out and if we have to buy tools we'll buy them. If it doesn't work out, we'll sell the tools. No biggie. Then he says he's worried he won't fit in and basically seems to have lost confidence in his abilities. I tried to get him to laugh or anything to get his mind off of it, but it only works for a little bit and then he is back to being all zoned out. On the one hand I don't want to pressure him or anything but on the other hand I am nervous that he will let job opportunities fly by just because he is scared and leave me being the only one working (which I feel guilty for thinking). Also sometimes he stars whining about how we'll never have anything fun like ATV's or seadoos or other such stuff. I tell him we'll figure that out later and he says he doesn't want to get old and having no fun. This makes me feel bad because there isn't anything I can do to fix that. What should I do to encourage him in his job search and help him regain his confidence and get him to quit focusing on materialistic stuff we can't afford right now? We know how hard the process is to become a cop. He went through a lot of those steps before he was rejected.

Public Comments

1. Sometimes it is best to talk reality. Yes, these are difficult times. It is difficult to find a job. Try to be positive.
2. I only am answering from your first initial statement. I know what he is going through. I have been jobless for about 4 years now and I am trying but it is hard. I am married but our marriage is about over. My marriage problems are not my concern regarding your question. I truly believe that God's solution is going to be a wonderful surprise to you. I have to trust God to solve my problem or problems; I don't know which to use. I hope your marriage is blessed financially SHORTLY. Your husband loves you so just, on your part keep encouraging him and being there for him day and night. Marriage, as I believe YOU, know, is wonderful. I just want to encourage you here as well. You are what God gave him as his PERFECT mate and after God, his STRONG, right arm. I leave you here. Remember, the Bible tells us that man was not made for the women BUT, the woman for the man. You are for him. He needs you so very much.
3. First off he needs to realize becoming a police officer isn't as simple as the mind set everyone has I have been actively going through the hiring process for Charlotte-Mecklenburg PD... I have done the exam, physical, background interview, panel interview, psychological exam, and now I have to retake the Polygraph because my last test came back "Inconclusive" and if I don't pass it in August the academy class I am projected for in Jan 2010 is done and I can basically kiss that job goodbye after 8 months of actively going through the hiring process - I am a honorable USAF, OIF Security Forces (military police vet) and hold a Bachelors of Science in Criminal Justice Cum Laude Honors and with the surplus of people out of work now they are just being extremely picky now Also just like I said there are a ton of people out of work (myself included) you just gotta keep tellin him to press at it... I have my second interview for Astra Zeneca this Thursday it's a Pharmaceutical Sales position something WAY OUT in left field in my career progress but at this point I'll take anything Also now would be a great time to go back to school he can get grants, loans, etc to help cover the expense and possibly some living expenses... With this break between separating from the service and work I have returned to school and I found another career I am interested in Emergency Medicine and right now training to be a Medic... Your husband might find his ninch as well just some suggestions... Just gotta keep hope up and look for anything and be less picky right now because it's a tough market especially depending on where you live and right now I'm in Ohio which is hit REAL hard
4. Tell him to stop feeling sorry for himself and to stop making excuses!! He needs to get his ass out there and take the first job he can find!
5. Please be patient with him and supportive. Your husband is probably scared and feeling inadequate for not being able to provide for you and depending on you to support him. My husband & I went through a similar situation when we 1st got married and it was a test for us. I told that I loved him and that I would be there for him. I told him "and showed him' that I believed in him and things would be fine as long as we were together. There were moments when I wasn't sure that I believed my own words, but thing did work out. Now my husband is become very very successful and is taking care of me. ("I lost my job in financial services over a year ago"). We have been lucky but I love my husband more than ever and I know he loves me. I know my love for him helps keep him going and his love for me keeps me going too - and tires me out :). Good luck and believe in your man and believe in the love that you share and things will work out for you both in time.
6. I have been out of work since March too. I was with the my company for 8 years been on top of my game as being a Associate director. I managed 20 account managers was always on top, worked my way up 4 levels. I have my MBA degree. worked very hard, then boom out the door Company shut down! I have been applying for work just as your husband has I cannot even get into entry level positions. Been on only 3 interviews! Yes I am discouraged but I am trying my best and I know this is going to be a long process. I know there are support groups out there check the work force centers. He is lucky to have a supportive wife! Keep reminding him he is not his loan, it will take awhile till he will get 'toys'