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I would be thankful if somebody would correct my letter….I m a learner of English... please help me?

Respected Sir, Thanks for the opportunity to work with your esteemed organization through offering me the job - Management executive. I would be thankful if I get a clarification from you before I join. I am presently employed and getting a salary of Rs.12,000 in my present work. This was informed during the telephonic interview conducted first and the personal interview. It was reconfirmed by you during the final clarification of my consent to join. And also I have quoted my expected salary of Rs.15, 000 to 20,000 during all my communication with you. Its surprise to me that you have sent the offering letter with the salary of what I am presently getting. The job needs a full time working person and relocation of stay. Hence It is not meaningful to me to get a job with relocation with the same salary and also I think It is not sufficient to a person having 5 years experience. Hence I would like to know weather there is any possibility of revising my salary. I hope you will send me a favorable reply.

Public Comments

1. Thank you for your recent offer of employment. However, I must respectfully decline your offer of Rs. 12,000 as it does not accurately reflect my level of experience nor does your offer include any relocation incentive. While I would very much like to work for your company I must continue my job search in an effort to obtain employment that compensates for my many years of experience and relocation costs.
2. Dear sirs, Thank you very much for offering me the post of Management Executive in such an esteemed company as this one. Before I join the team, I would be grateful if you could clarify some issues with my salary. Currenyly, I earn Rs12000, I have infromed you if this in both my initial interview and telephone interview. It was also stated when we were finalising working contract. Throughout all our conversations I have clearly conveyed my expected salary to you, so you can understand my surprise when my salary is the same as my current wage. For me to take this post, it means that I must relocate, hence it is not feasible for me to take a job with the same salary. I also do not think that the sugegsted wage relects my five years experience. I would like to know ehether there is any possibilty of revising thi proposed salary so something we can both agree on. I look forward to discussing this further with you.